Learning to relax

I remember my early yoga classes as a student, I was able to focus and breathe with only a few postures, typically a balancing or inversion, leading me into story. That is until we approached the final posture –Shavasana. I enjoyed knowing we were getting ready to relax, as I was usually ready to finish and move forward, but didn’t quite understand why it was part of the practice. I remember my early onShavasana experiences, laying down without props, although they were offered and available. I think I was so wired to move forward I didn’t register the suggestion to make myself comfortable to rest. So, I simply laid down on my mat, closed my eyes, and listened to the teachers’ voice. I still remember struggling with my thoughts…is the teacher looking at me… should I peek and check that I am doing it right…, struggling just to keep my eyes closed the whole time. This went on for several classes until the time a teacher walked past and offered me an eye pillow, which fortunately I took. That simple prop over my eyes stopped me from struggling. My body settled and a sense of ease and softness took over. It felt like magic. That’s when I began to understand and appreciate the gift of relaxation.As my practice grew and I started to explore edges, I learned to use movement to grow still. So much happens during asana practice, linking breath to movement, movement to inner awareness, inner awareness to letting go. It was a symphony of sensation and shifting, engaging and releasing until the words I loved hearing came. Time to rest, restore, integrate, find stillness. It took me quite some time and lots of practice to fully appreciate the significance of the process, to allow sensations to surface without reacting and going into story. But that’s when I realized how much that simple phase of practice healed and nurtured me. A time to be as I was at that moment, no need to shift or change. Shavasana gave me space to rest after working my body, space to let my thoughts float out, space to feel the energy of the room, space to be grateful for my practice.It also gave me the gift of noticing that I was not alone in this struggle. Sowhen I taught I always had lots of props on my mat to encourage students to use as part of class, often using supported Shavasana to end the class. I always left plenty of time for this final posture as I watched how students truly needed this space. It was the only part of my class that I rarely shifted. I loved how after a time many students used props without prompting creating the comfortable space they needed to find ease. I often joked with my students after class that the hardest part of being a teacher was bringing them back from relaxation, they looked so peaceful and still. But I love the connection that my practice brought to my teaching so I keep that healing awareness with me each time I step on my mat.