Getting Back to the Good Ole Days by Krissy Dopson-Simon

That’s right!!! The good ole days...

 You know, when you were a young child and you knew nothing but play, create, imagine... Everything was an exploration and adventure, consciousness was pure awareness, people were clouds passing by, words were vibrations moving through you, there were no preconceived notions, and the most important - we still remained very close to the source.  Then that thing called aging kicks in and, ‘til death do us part, here comes your fragile Ahamkara (ego) developing. The part of you that identifies with traits, habits, and beliefs, what most people name your personality.  At first, it was great - the world was revolving around me. It helped me cope, it protected me, it taught me values around intelligence, achievement, preferred emotional states, relationships, other people, and social conventions.   

Then YTT happens and the glass was shattered...

 I was living a lie! I found out the ego creates the illusion that our opinions and beliefs make us who we are. I realized the friction throughout my life was due to the strength of my ego. Instinctively, my initial and immediate reaction was to battle to the death and deny its existence! So, the journey begins, and I am off to kill this thing inside of me, but it grew, and it grew, and it grew to become so big and so powerful that one day it took me to my deepest fear - I was ready to give up.  Related Reads - I Will Survive by Krissy Dopson Simon Feeling destroyed I turned to my teacher Yoganand for guidance. I shared my deep-rooted story that literally caged my soul. I explained it was as though I had no choice on the visceral feelings that would overcome my entire being centered around this one story. It had such a grip all I wanted to do was hide. I was given tools, I was given support, and I trusted my teacher who has done so much self-work to be where he is today. 

I left to journey again; this time not to kill but rather to accept and understand my ego as something separate from self. 

 I had it all wrong - why destroy something that wants to protect me? Why make it my enemy? Why let it make up how I feel or why I move through the world the way I do? Why fear a STORY? All the sudden life became a game again; remarkably similar to the fond childhood game called Life, hummm isn’t that interesting!!  I was filled with courageous empowerment and found choices separate from ego!!! As I played this game it wasn’t always “fun,” (that was immature to think it would be). It was challenging. It changed my perspective. It allowed me to return to my true nature, my uninhibited self. And so I’m back to the good ole days leaving this social convention behind me... not every day, not every minute, sometimes I skip days - I’m human - but I know how to get back.   

I accept, I appreciate, and I understand, ‘til death do us part, my Ahamkara.

 With humble love and appreciation to all in this game called Life – may we be healthy, may we be happy, may we be whole. Krissy Dopson SimonPhoto credit: Valeria Zoncoll, Unsplash